Chapter Six

         There seemed to be only one trail or road or path, no matter what you want to call it, only one way to go from point A to point B as far as I could see.  I began to realize there were two things you could count on in this place.  That there was really only one road which followed on from beginning to end in one direction at all times and that there were very odd and interesting characters inhabiting these places.  Therefore, I was in no doubt that I would be coming upon more new and very strange people of some sort in the near future.
The path led me into a forest.  Not a huge forest, dark and dense and forbidding, but a smallish forest of shorter trees, not placed all that close together and smelling like citrus and pine.  I wove my way through it pretty quickly, not encountering anyone, which was just fine with me, and out of the woods I came, right to the edge of a large pond.  There was a little bank with a little bench that looked perfect for sitting on and I really needed to take off my boots for a bit and wiggle my toes after all this walking.  So, I sat and took off my boots and put my feet in the water and heard a splashing and a quacking, so I looked up and there was a duck.  Just a plain,old duck.  Nothing strange, it wasn’t wearing odd clothing and it had plain duck like feathers and it quacked, just like a duck should.  It came up onto the bank and stood next to me and stared.  Just stared, with it’s beady little eyes, cocking it’s head from side to side then looking down at my basket I’d set beside me.
“She thinks you have bread in your basket.”  Said a voice behind me.
 Startled, I turned to see a very ordinary boy, with very ordinary brown hair, wearing very ordinary overalls over an ordinary white shirt.  Well, not quite white.  It might have been white once but it looked like it had been rolled through the mud, jumped in the lake, skid down a tree, chewed on by rabbits and used to brush a dog’s teeth.  Which is a very ordinary look for a shirt worn by an ordinary boy.
“Pardon?”  I asked.
 “She thinks you have bread in your basket which means you do ‘cause she’s usually right when it comes to bread as it’s her favorite food, right after slugs o’ course.  Unless, you have slugs in your basket?”  The boy said.
“Uh, no slugs.  Not today.”  I told the duck.  “It is bread, or more importantly, one of my cinnamon buns.  I’ve just baked some for Solomon Swear back at The Bend.”  I took the cinnamon bun out of my basket and broke off a piece and tossed it to the duck.
“Well, aren’t you the nice one, feeding the Odd Duck one of your treats!  I’m Tom Foolery.” He held out a grubby hand in greeting. “ Hey, what’s that on your fingers?  Tableware?  Why would someone wear tableware on their fingers?”  The boy asked, looking at my fingers, then peering down into my basket for more of whatever I might have.
“I find them handy.  You never know when you’ll have something to eat and nothing to eat it with!”  I answered.
“I just use my hands.  They seem to be handy enough.  And the Odd Duck just uses her bill.  We’ve got no use for tableware.  Ever.”
“She looks rather normal to me.”  I said tossing more bread pieces to the duck. “I mean, she looks just like a duck should, I don’t see anything odd about her.”
“O’ course she’s a normal duck.”  Said the boy, sitting down next to me and tossing a fishing line into the water, which was connected to to a long stick in his hand.
“Well, then, why do you keep calling her the ‘Odd Duck’?”  I asked.
“Do you see more ducks here?" asked the boy, " No, just the one.  I’ve only got the one and one is odd.   Now, if I had two ducks, they’d be even.  But I don’t.  Just the one duck.”  The boy explained.
 “What if you had three ducks?”  I asked.
“Then, they’d be odd again o’ course.”  Said the boy looking at me like I was slightly stupid.
 “Or, you’d have one pair and one odd.”  I countered.
 “Ooooooooh, I do like pears.  Could eat ‘em all day I could.  Used to in fact, before I chopped down the pear tree.”  Said the boy licking his mouth.
“Why did you chop down the pear tree if you only had one?”  I asked.
 “It was the perfect size to make my fishin’ bench out of and if I didn’t make my fishin’ bench, you’d have nothin’ to be sittin’ on now.”  He gestures toward the bench we’re sitting on.
 “Are you sure you should be chopping down trees?  Not only are you now out of pears, which you were so fond of eating, but the Mayor might have an asthma attack if she should find out.”  I said.
 “What, you mean Pree?”  He asks incredulously.  “Aww, she’s full of it.  Thinks she owns everything, she does.  Why she tried to make Ducky here pay a fine for laying her eggs and increasing the population.  Says more numbers in the town, more numbers on the price stickers.”  He said.
“She does seem a bit set in her ways for someone so young.  What did you tell her?”  I ask.
“I told her nuthin!  Just cracked one of them eggs on her head I did!  It was awful fun!  Her face got so red she looked about to blow her stack!”  The boy was laughing full on now and fell off the bench onto the weeds at the pond’s edge.
 “You didn’t!”  I exclaimed.  “You killed a poor baby duckling!?”  I was shocked.
The boy sat upright and gave me a look.  “Now, I might be foolish Miss but I ain’t stupid.  You’d need two ducks for there to be ducklings in them eggs, a mommy and a daddy and as I’ve already ‘splained, I’ve just got the one!”
My face was now redder than Mayor Pree Thigs’.  Being schooled and thought stupid by a young boy.  I stood up, my feet now dry from dangling in the air, and stomped back to my boots, where I began to put them on.  As soon as my foot set into my first boot I pulled it right back out squealing for there was a squishy, slimy, cold something sitting down inside of it.
 Immediately the boy started laughing all over again and rolling in the weeds.
I peered down into my boot and there was a smelly, little dead fish stuck inside.  I dumped it out and glared at him. Then I wiped my foot on the grass and put my boot back on.  I checked the other boot before putting it onto my other foot.
 “You did that didn’t you?”  I narrowed my eyes accusingly at the boy.
“Just a little fun Miss.  I don’t get many folks down here to prank do I?”
 “Hmmf.”  I huffed and went down to take up my basket.
 “Aw, now, sorry then.  Can I get ‘cha something to eat?  Wouldn’t be hospitable otherwise would I?”  He asked, brushing off his pants and heading to one of the trees by the edge of the forest.  He lifted the lid off of a little wooden box and after a bit of rustling around in it , pulled out a sandwich.  “Here ya are.  Eat up.”
 I took the sandwich from him for I was hungry.  Lemon ice and cinnamon buns are tasty but don’t make up much of a meal and they’re all I’d had since Thursday.  I went to take a bite and just as it went into my mouth I looked down and saw squirming, wriggling earth worms sliding around between the bread.  This time I screamed and threw the sandwich, which the Odd Duck waddled over to suck up with her bill, making little happy duck sounds and wagging her tail feathers.  I spit on the ground , multiple times, I’m not proud to say, but wouldn’t you if you’d just put earthworms into your mouth?
 Tom Foolery, was of course, laughing and rolling on the ground again.
“You’re impossible!”  I yelled at him.  “And horrid!”
 “Hey, don’t you go mixing me in with that fly!” Tom sat up and got serious.  “ I enjoy finding a little fun, and pranks is how I find it, but I’m not as miserable as that stinkin’ winged turd monger.”
“Who are you talking so crudely about now?”  I ask.
“Horrid.  Positively Horrid.  You’ve met him have you?”  The boy answered.
“No, haven’t had the pleasure, but he hardly sounds as terrible as some of the characters I’ve come across lately.  Speaking of which, I need to be on my way.  If you’ll please tell me where I am exactly and how I can get on to Thursday?  I really haven’t got time for all this.  Also, if possible, could you point me towards a different mode of transportation?  I’ve been walking for what seems like forever.”  I stood off to the side of the pond with my basket on my arm and my hands on my hips and waited for the boy to get himself together and find me a proper way out of there.
 “Fine, fine.  Now lets see.  You’re here at Tuesday Pond and if you’re looking to get to Thursday, you’ll need to go through Wednesday, but it’ll be walking most of the way, unless, oh!  Yes, he might give you a lift on the river.  Hmmm.”
The boy was contemplating something and I wasn’t sure I trusted anything he might come up with.
“Alright.  Follow me.”  And he set off walking down a little path to the right of the pond and into the shrubs until he was out of sight.
 I quickly weighed my options.  Stay here with the Odd Duck, wander off on my own and hope for the best or follow Tom Foolery into the shrubbery.  Two minutes later I was at Tom’s heels, hoping this wasn’t a trick.”