I noticed a tall building, one made of tin, with smoke rising from the chimney in the building’s roof. It looked as though someone might be home so I stepped over and rapped on the door. There was no answer but I could hear a loud noise coming from inside. I opened the door and immediately covered my ears as the whole place was buzzing and humming with the sound of machinery. I looked past a front counter to see two figures, one a hugely gigantic fellow with long black hair, parts of which were braided and banded with rings of metal and an equally long black beard, also braided with bits of tin at the ends. He had what looked like a welding mask over his head and was wearing black overalls with a giant tin apron covering his whole front with grommets holding on tin pockets which held assorted tools. Next to him was a short plump girl with a snub nose stuck in the middle of a round pink face framed by flaming red, curly hair which was tied off in pig tails. She was wearing a men’s style tuxedo, complete with coat and tails! Both were looking down at drawings on a work bench.
“Excuse me!” I shouted over the noise.
The big fellow turned around noticing me. He paused and then reached over and turned off the machinery which was causing all the noise. “HELP YOU?!” He yelled very loudly and came over to a counter at the front of the room.
“I’m looking for the Mayor!” I shouted back, then realizing I was shouting I asked more quietly, "Can you tell me where I might find the Mayor?”
The short girl came tromping up to stand in front of me. She looked me over with small brown eyes which stopped when they reached my hands.
“Is that tableware?” She asked in a nasally tone.
“Yes." I sighed. If I’d known my rings would attract so much attention I might have chosen differently. "As handy as it is keeping utensils at my fingertips, I haven’t had the chance to use them today as I’ve skipped both lunch and supper.” I explained hastily “ Maybe you can help me, I’m in search of the Mayor of this town?”
The short girl shoved out her chubby hand at me and stated ,
“Pree Thigs. Mayor of Saturday. Noice to have a visitor Miss...?”
“Justa Smidge.” I replied shaking her hand, quite surprised to find such a young girl as the Mayor of a town.
“Well, Smidge, what’s ya needin’ a Mayor for today?”
“MAYBE SHE’S HERE TO HELP US WIT THE PLANS! YOU HERE TO HELP WIT THE PLANS?” The big fellow shouted right in front of us.
I covered my ears and took a step back.
“Who’s he and why does he keep shouting?” I asked Pree.
“That’s Tinny Tim. Hard of hearin’ he is. Cause of all the machines & what not. He owns this place.” She explained pointing at a sign above the counter reading ‘Tinny Tim’s Metal Fabricating.’
“I see, of course. Fascinating assembly he’s wearing! Is that a metal apron?” I ask looking appreciatively at the grommets holding on the pockets and the straps. I must remember this construction for Mr. Curmudgeon. Maybe display something like this in the front window next month!
“You bet! Best thing to bounce the sparks off of him while cuttin’ the metal. Otherwise all his shirts would be so full o’ holes we could use them to strain the bathwater.” Pree answers.
“Strain the bathwater? Why ever would one need to do that?” I ask.
“Conservation of course! Get the most use out of every possible thing! That’s our motto ‘round here. Now, again, what can I help you with?”
“SHE’S THE MAYOR. BEST MAYOR AROUND. IF YOU’RE HERE TO HELP, WE’RE GOING OVER THE PLANS FOR THE NEW MAYOR’S OFFICE. GONNA BUILD THE BIGGEST CITY EVER. PREE HERE’LL RUN IT.” Tinny Tim shouted again.
“Aww, none a that now Tim.” Pree shrugged off the compliment then whispered towards me, “Never take much stock in what Tim says - he’s a fabricator after all.” She motioned for me to follow along as she waved to Tim and pushed out the door. We then turned to walk up the street.
“I need to get back to Thursday so I can properly close up the haberdashery where I work, maybe you’ve heard of it? Royal Curmudgeon’s? Anyhow, Mr. Dashing said I should come and find you and you could show me the way? I’m also getting quite hungry and would like to find a place to eat.” I explained to her along the way.
Pree was huffing and puffing a bit, her short little legs walking quickly toward a large hay stack. She rounded one side of the stack and pulled on a twig which opened a door.
“Well, come on in then, Saturday’s a hospitality type a town and I’m a hospitality type a mayor. My house is your house for the moment.” And she went inside the haystack. I followed her through the door and over to a large table covered in, well, things. Things of all sorts. But mostly dust. The whole of the inside was covered in dust. Pree began wiping a cup off with a dusty piece of cloth. “Let’s have a look see at what we might eat and I’ll mark out a map for you’se on how to get to , was it Thursday was it?” By the time she got through the sentence she was quite red in the face and her voice was all raspy.
“Are you alright Mayor Thigs?” I took the cup and began to wipe it for her.
“It’s just a cup and a map, why wouldn’t I be alright?” she asked wheezing heavily.
“Your face has gone all red.” I pointed out.
“Really, like that is it?” She stared up at me, face getting redder. “I welcome you to (wheeze) town, bring you into my (wheeze) home, I do, and you gotta be so rude as to bring up me hay fever?”
“Oh, well, no, I was only concerned, you seem to be having troubles breathing as well.”
“And me asthma! (wheeze) Where are your manners young lady? Anythin’ more you’d like to point out hmmm? Or shall we get right to it and get you on your way?”
I stifle a chuckle at her reaction because I was certain I was years beyond her own age and here she was calling me ‘young lady’.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to offend, if you’re alright, then I’ll forget all about it.”
Pree glared at me for a moment.
“Naw, it’s alright, just the allergy season is all, makes it a bit worse for me. Got so much to do ‘round here I forget about it mostly.” She softened and her face became slightly less red.
“Well, you do live in a haystack you realize and a dusty one at that?” I pointed out, looking around the room.
“Now I’ve got health reasons for that!” She snapped.
“For that or because of it?” I corrected.
“I means what I says and says what I means. Best house in town! Keeps the rain off me things and the temperature mild too. I used to be a professional feather duster. Before me career as Mayor. Had to quit the first job when me asthma started up cause o’ all the dustin’. Now I stay away from any kind o’ dustin’ so’s not to bother me lungs. Doctor’s orders! ‘No more dustin’ feathers Pree.’ He says. I was upset o’ course, din’t know what I’d do with me life. Then this place needed a Mayor and me future was set, seein’ as I already had the coat and a rather mayoral demeanor. So, ‘ere I am in me wonderful house o’ hay. ‘Sides, not like I could get one out of boards what with our shortage in trees you hear. No choppin’ allowed in these parts. Not like what you’ve gone and done for them boots you’se wearin’.” Pree points down to my boots with disdain.
I pick up one foot and place it on a near by stool so she can get a closer look.
“These aren’t real tree bark!” I exclaim proudly. “They’re made of the finest leather and ever so soft! Just feel them!”
Pree rubs the leather between her chubby fingers.
“Leather you say? Hmmm.... leather. Might, (wheeze) just have to take a look at what it takes for building permits. Yes! (wheeze) Brilliant you are Smidge! Leather houses!” She hopped toward the door to leave.
“Wait! Where are you going? What about the map? And food?” I call after her.
“Aha, roight, got so much to do as Mayor I do, you go on and stay as long as ye like, think I might have some apples in a basket there somewhere, or maybe it were oranges?”
She rushed back into the house, brushing clutter off of the large table and using her finger, drew a line in the dust and topped it with an X.
“There, follow that line, that’ll take ya to the Hills of Sunday. The RMCP will get ya movin’ the right direction.” She rolled her eyes at this and aimed the dusty finger at a large basket in the corner of the room. “There’s them apple oranges I be thinkin’ of. Take what ye want. My house is your house!” She made to escape through the door again so I stepped in the way
“RMCP? Is that some sort of taxi or trolley?” I asked ,hopeful that maybe she had some sort of transportation I could use.
Pree stopped short. “You are an odd girl Smidge! Go well with that duck of Tom’s you’se would. R. M. C. P.” She exaggerated. “Royal Mounty Po-leese! A Canadian!” She whispered rather excitedly.
I let out an “Eep!”
“Yeeeeaahh, the Canadian’s are eep worthy. But maybe not this one as much. Never got over bein’ let go by the Mounties. Still thinks he’s doin’ good out and about & savin’ nobody. Just wanderin’ around them hills with the frilly flowers talkin’ all his noble talk ‘bout duty and such. Never get’s off his high horse and travels far too much, but he should be able to get you’se where ya need and he’s usually roun’ them hills in Sunday. Follow that mark! Nice meetin’ ya Smidge. Do come back again and bring folks with ya! With leather! Up the population it would, better for both town and people!” And off she ran as fast as her little legs could take her back towards the tin building with the smoking chimney.
I thought to follow her but realized there probably wasn’t more she could give me in the way of information so I went to the basket in the corner for the food and using my hand, wiped a layer of dust off the round fruit piled inside it. It felt rather odd, so I picked up one that resembled an apple and shined it up on my legging. It seemed to have a waxy skin so using my knife ring, I made a small slice through it. Not just the skin was waxy. The whole fruit was made of wax. I quickly went through the rest in the basket to find they were all made of wax. My tummy rumbled. Apparently, I wasn’t going to get supper here. The basket was nicely made though and Pree did say to take what I wanted, so dumping out the wax fruit onto a pile of dust covered objects in the corner, I slung the basket over my arm by it’s handle and left the haystack, closing the door behind me.
Pree’s line in the dust on her table had been straight so I deduced by the curved road on my left and the curved road on my right, that I was supposed to follow the straight road in front of me, hoping that would lead me to the Hills of Sunday and the Canadian.
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